My motivation for creating my own swimwear collection.

My motivation for creating my own swimwear collection.

My motivation started when i was 15, I was in London and the agency from London had send me to Barcelona because there was a big fashion show coming up and i had to present myself in time to be able to walk for the designers.


I arrived in from London on a warm summery Monday evening, shortly after arriving i received an email from the agency in Barcelona telling me i had a busy day tomorrow going from one casting to another, but i had to bring a bathing suit or bikini, which i didn’t have.


Now this may sound crazy but i couldn’t find any bathing suit or bikini Barcelona that would fit, i had tried every brand, every size, i was a size 36 back then, my waist was 65, my bust was 90 and my hips were 87 and still it was impossible for me to even find one brand that had anything for me, i had spend the entire evening looking for something and they would always tell me the same thing at the stores ‘we don’t have your size’.


My size? i was a 36 and they didn’t had anything for people like me, skinny but with a large bit compared to other 36 sizes, when they did found something for me, i had to squeeze in my breasts in order to fit into it, it felt so uncomfortable and i couldn’t tell anybody about this because i was so embarrassed, i thought it my own fault.


i thought there was something wrong with my body and that i could diet my way into a skinier bust, (because the industry had told me that dieting was the only solution to problem like this) but i couldn’t.

The feeling of looking myself in the mirror in a small fitting room feeling like my body was a failures the absolute worst, my self esteem was not exactly going strong that day.

I managed to find one bathing suit in the end, it was a size 42…

I had to close the back of the briefs with little clips during the castings because the brief was huge for me, i wasn’t exactly looking sexy or spectacular.

The feeling afterwards of having to struggle this much left a strong impression on 15 year old me, and once back home i decided to look into this, and in the end i found two brands that did had my size, i bought all of my bathing suits with them for the last couple of years until a little over a year ago when i noticed their sizes were changing as well, they had more and more things on sale for people with smaller busts and not for mine anymore.


That’s the moment i decided the time was right for me to launch my own swimwear collection, collection that will make woman proud of what they have and not feeling ashamed of it, a collection that loves to make woman feel sexy no matter what size, from petit to xl, a woman who doesn’t fit into the mainstream sizes should not feel like they are inadequate of feeling and being sexy at the beach or at the swimming pool, it is important for all woman to show what they have proudly, may that be a size 34 to a size 44, anything goes and anything should go.



Strong woman.

To all the strong woman…

My sister called me last autumn asking to get together more often for a few drinks or a lunch, the lunches turned into movie nights, and into sleepovers…It was nice being able to spend more time with my sister on a regular basis.

My sister got married on an early age 8 years ago, she had turned 18, and the husband and i did not get along to say the least, we didn’t like each other, and he forced my sister into almost having no contact with me during those years. After a few evenings that we’ve spend together i would bring her back home, and i noticed that she got very nervous everything we got near to where she lived, he would send her text messages saying she’s a terrible mother for going to the movies, and that she’s bad, a bad woman in general… once we were close to their house, one evening and she got a complete panic attack, i  brought her to the hospital, that’s where we found out (my mom and i) that she was covered in bruises..She was also extremely underweight and very pale.

Shortly after that i had a long conversation with my sister, soon into the conversation she admitted she got beaten up on a daily basis for a variety of stupid reasons according to him, she told me how fast he got mad at her for stupid things, if she closes the living room door, if she has to work late he would beat her up even more, not even their 3 children got spared from him… When he thought he had not hurt my sister enough he would beat the children while my sister had to watch him doing it, she fought but he had friends and when my sister didn’t wanna listen he would tell her to stop doing it or otherwise he would hurt the children even more.

One day he got so mad, he was beating the 3 children and my sister and locked them inside a closed room for days, my sister went to the police many many times, but since the doctor they had was a friend from him she never got a report from the doctor stating the vile things he had done to them, she went to the hospital after these things had happened but the hospital called her husband, and he came to the hospital and when he did he told her if you say anything i will hurt you and the children even more once we get home.

She went to the police many many times, they told her that if she doesn’t have proof they couldn’t help her. She saw no way out, she thought this is what she must endure for the children’s sake to keep them safe.

It wasn’t until my oldest niece started talking about all the horrible things she saw her father doing to her mom, we went to the police, and they made an official rapport finally.

That night i brought her to a hotel in the capital of Belgium, i figured she was safe there, he kidnapped the children in the meantime, we went to the police to report it, we were so scared for their lives, and the police at first didn’t wanted to help us because they said a father has the right to take their children on a holiday when he feels like it. When i told them the full story that’s when they filed a rapport to him with regards to kidnapping he’s own children.

It took weeks/months before we got any news from the children, it was one of the hardest weeks in our entire lives, not knowing were they were was the worst nightmare anybody could possibly go through.

We stayed living in a safe house, and in the meantime we took legal actions, we went to a lawyer and he started a legal procedure in getting the children back to us.

The legal procedure took a lot of time, and finally we got a date set that he had to come to court, at that time the children were missing for 2 months.

the judge listened to my sister testifying what happened and the judge started crying in the courtroom and ruled in our favour, that moment was one of the most emotional moments of my life…We thought finally! the nightmare is over…

it took another 4 weeks to get the judge’s word in an official statement with the verdict signed by the members of the courtroom and the judge.

After 4 weeks we got the papers and we could officially go to the police to make them look for them, they looked everywhere, they blocked the children’s passport, checked on all the borders, but nowhere was there a car like he’s crossing the border or a plane with them as a passenger, they looked all over Belgium for days but without any success. Except for the youngest boy, they found out he had Adam the youngest boy living with him in Belgium, the 2 eldest kids were nowhere to be found,

They couldn’t take the youngest boy away from him yet because they first had to find the 2 eldest as well, because of the father’s nature they were scared he would harm the children if they took away the youngest one in the meantime.

It took many many nerve wrecking hours/days that they had arrested him and made him to tell where the other children were. Finally he gave in and confessed that the children got taken in a car from a friend of him to Spain, to where he’s parents live.

The legal procedure to get the verdict of the Belgian judge to be a fully European verdict took a long time, in that time we had to wait patiently until we got a call from either the police or our lawyer, the nerves got too much and we got on a plane to Spain, we went to the police here, to judges, courthouses, anybody that could help us. They all laughed…These were some of the most frustrating days, the Spanish government claimed that since it is a case from Belgium, they cannot do anything without a notice from the Belgian minister, we called and emailed the Belgian embassy in Spain, we told our story and they advised us to call the Belgian bureau of foreign affairs, i had to send the judge’s verdict to them and within 16 hours i got a reply that they were gonna contact our lawyer and contact the Spanish authorities.

2 days we got a call from our lawyer, the future ex husband signed a document stating he  distanced himself from the children, and finally we got a date set on which we could pick up the children. That morning we went to the house, we ringed the bell, and they started shouting bad things to us, it wasn’t until i heard my niece and nephew going down the stairs that i was overwhelmed by joy…That feeling we all had right there is indescribable…The nightmare was over…Finally.

We’re two months later and the children and my sister have never been happier, the children go to a nice school, they get psychological support, they made new friends, and it’s then when we pick them up from school and they run towards us, and they say ‘i’m so happy to be with you all’ that’s the moment when all of the nightmares, and all of the hard times we went through make it all more than worth it.

The divorce is set to get a verdict by the judge next month,

To all the strong woman out there, if you’re in the same relationship like my sister was or in an even worse one,…Know that there is a way out, there always is, even when you feel like there isn’t, believe me…There is. I’ve never seen my sister happier and more healthy than how she is now, she tells me everyday how glad she is that she took the step and got rid of the toxic relationship she was living in. If she can do it, so can you.

We got so much help and support from people we didn’t even know, people that were touched by all that was happening and that offered to help us with the small stuff and the big stuff. Words cannot express my gratitude towards everybody that helped us, the police officers, the Belgian government, the Belgian minister of foreign affairs…




Dating and sex as a Belgian woman… 

Dating and sex as a Belgian woman… 

Ok so here’s the deal, 

A friend mentioned me an article earlier today that was online about dating and sex as a Belgian woman and i was to say the least pretty frightened by it after reading it, i thought it couldn’t be so bad, but i did asked him to me the link anyhow, ok so it was a short list of things that the author named and all of it was as wrong as it possibly could be. I’m here to try and correct the list in the most accurate way, to show you what Belgian woman think, behave, feel how we love, how we talk, how we care, how we date, how we live. 

On the 1st section the author says that Belgian girls don’t start to date usually until they’re 18 because our parents are very over protective…. I honestly don’t know how she came up with this because it’s not true… most of the Belgian parents i know are protective but equally as protective as any other nationality, boys and girls will start to date on a very early age, it’s not unusual for 5 year olds to have a ‘boyfriend or girlfriend’ of course adults know that their success ratio is pretty low when meeting as such an early age but there’s no harm in having some fun and everybody thinks it’s adorable. I still remember Thomas, so cute… He would bring me chocolates every wednesday and we would hold hands on the patio. 

Next on she wrote ‘marriage can only happen at 21 and sometimes they have to wait until they’re 25’ ok this is not true either… in Belgium our law system states that once you hit 18 you’re on adult, you run away from home, you can legally marry anyone you like, you can get kids if you want, you can drink, you can drive a car, you can travel anywhere you like to go to. There are no restrictions (unless of course it’s something illegal) but in general you can pretty much be a full grown adult by the age of 18, i remember buying my first car at 18, getting my first own apartment and if i did fell in love and decided to get married i could… 

‘Most Belgian woman don’t drive’ I honestly don’t know of any woman here in Belgium that can’t drive, our government is very pro female power so we get all of this taught to us on a very early age, i remember being taught in school at age 6 on how to fix your own car, and how to read signs etc, you were obliged to know it.

‘You don’t get a driving license before you’re 18’ this part is partially true… you need to do a 12/24 months driving time with your own car or a car of your friend on a temporary license before you can get a permanent one, to get a temporary one all you need to do is to pass a theory exam, and the theory exams are open to anyone starting from age 17. 

‘In Belgium you need to be 21 to drink heavy spirits and you can buy or order beer at any age’ this one makes us look a bit wreckless, truth is you need to be 16 to order beer in a bar or to buy it in a supermarket but you gotta be 18 to drink heavy spirits. I have to admit that they don’t question your age a lot or at least they didn’t ask for my id anywhere i went 

‘Belgian man and woman are not likely to live together before marrying each other’ no… Belgian woman are very strict we are very sober in the way that we think for that we need to think a lot about a decision such as marrying someone, most Belgian couples live together for at least 1/2/3 years before taking the big jump. 

‘Porn is widely available but people are so used to it that it is like eating French fries’ no no no…. Porn here is not exactly widely available, we don’t have it shown on any tv station, we don’t tend to see it like a taboo to watch porn but i think that these days with the internet most people just stream porn on their mobile phones but it’s not like we’re all watching porn all the time. 

‘Sex is very liberal and talked about openly, with a large variety to choose from, and sex is shown on tv even in the afternoon!’ No… The laws that are created to protect kids from watching porn are very strict and the chances of catching some naughty videos on a lonely afternoon are extremely small, unless you stream it yourself. People in general tend to be pretty open minded in my country, but we’re very timide too at the same time, a Belgian woman or man would find it rather difficult in general to ask a girl or guy to come back to their place afterwards, we tend to be more about secrets and we Belgian woman don’t particularly like straightforward guys, maybe after a few dates, but i don’t know any woman that would appreciate it on the 1st date. 

In general i think we are a bit closed personality wise at the beginning and slightly shy but not afraid to give our opion about things either, dating wise, dates are usually very normal, nothing crazy, dinner and a movie or just a movie or just a few drinks. Where you live is very important for most Belgian woman and man, because we have this idea that the person we would like be in a relationship with has to be close to us, but this is a very personal thing i would say 90% feels this way, but i myself know that i’m not like that, but all of my friends and buddies are like that. 

Do not get politicial as a foreigner on a 1st date about Belgian politics. Because our political system is pretty complicated i can imagine any foreigner would feel lost just hearing about it but to be honest it’s not as bad and complicated as it sounds like. 

Language barriers… if u are dating someone in the Flemish part of the country to not bring up the Walloons, and vice versa, i’ve had a few foreign friends that told me our language barrier was stupid and that it made no sense to them, but our country is very small as you know but it’s foundation is a very full and rich history where both languages already existed centuries ago, to us our language is our identity, it’s not just a language it goes to show which part of the history of Belgium we come from, it explains us who we are and we could not be happier when someone from abroad thinks that our language sounds cute, or that they’re willing to learn a few words. Our roots are partially mixed into the languague that we speak and the accent that we have and it is important to us to maintain these roots and to keep them being cared for. 

Belgian woman in general i find them hilarious, we usually have a weird  and dry sense of humour and we love to laugh with others, we love a good glass of wine and we love good food, food is an important part of our life and where we come from, we are punctual and we love doing business. Most Belgians dream of having their own business, most of us are very eager to get what we want out of life and after traveling around the world a little bit i find them really funny, sweet & caring. But this is only my opinion feel free to pass by Belgium anytime to check it out for yourself 😉 

Let’s talk about sex,

Let’s talk about sex,

Let’s talk about sex by salt-n-pepa was released in August 1991 the song peaked at nr 1 in countries all around the world, the song is about the good and the bad things about sex.

We are 26 years later and talking about sex nowadays is still pretty much a taboo, out of the 15 closest friends that i have i can only talk about vibrators and orgasms with 3 of them, which is to say the least a bit sad, the weird thing is, my other friends are interested in talking about sex but somehow feel dirty talking about it.

Why feel dirty?, everybody has sex, everybody should have sex, and talking about it is very important, the good and the bad, talking about how to reach certain high levels in the bedroom is essential for any good relationship to keep on being great, it does surprise me that most of my friends who are in a relationship don’t really talk about sex with their partners either, i remember having a conversation with my sister, i asked her if she ever had an orgasm, and her reply was ‘i don’t know, i think so, i’m married so i must’ve had it at some point’ that’s such a misunderstanding, how can being married being the same as having a great sex life and getting orgasms, i don’t think so…

Many married couples that i know, all tell me the same thing, they don’t feel like they’re getting enough attention in the bedroom or enough foreplay, or afterplay, but they’re afraid to tell their husband/wife…

But when a book came out that explicitly talks about sex, and bondage and s&m the whole world goes to the stores to buy it, i’ve found fifty shades of grey books everywhere, at my grandmothers, at my friend who told me she doesn’t have any sex, at my best friend’s house who claimed he never read it, pretty much everywhere i went i found one or two of these books laying around, at the beach, at their house, in their car, in their backpack, it was everywhere… And when i went to see the movie at the theatre i saw most woman giggling, and making fun of what was being played in front of them, when i asked my friend what she thought about the movie, she replied ‘it’s a movie about sex, what is there to say?’.

There is this misconception that having sex is a bad thing, and that talking about it is equally as bad, it’s 2017 we should all get a grip, and don’t be so amazed by it anymore, it’s just sex, there’s nothing wrong with it, and never will there be something wrong with it. It’s a great way to connect with someone on a deeper level, boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, best friend… These days there are so many options and so many things we can do with it, and i believe that the idea of doing it being a bad thing should be locked in a drawer somewhere and should never be taken out of the drawer again, it’s 2017 relax, enjoy your body, enjoy your partner’s or friend’s body. Connect with each other on a deeper level. It may actually save relationships and marriages.



7 weeks ago my mom came up with the idea of doing a little road trip with our MINI cooper.

The idea was to go from Malaga (South of Spain) to Paris. With a few work stops in between in Milan and Lyon.

We’re now almost 7 weeks later and me and my car are in Paris again, after spending 3 weeks in Belgium visiting my family and friends.

We’ve seen some of the most amazing sceneries, driving from the north of Spain, to Sanremo. We crossed the whole south of France’s coastline, it was magical, sun was shining, i could not ask for a better season to do this!

The road trip itself made me get back in touch with myself, what i wanna do in life. It made me think about who i am and what i am, Belgian born, raised in Spain, American influences from the American side in our family. And living in France for the past 3 years. And if i’m very honest i feel very strong connected to all 4 nationalities.

Belgium of course feels like home, but it feels like a place where i have not been for a long time, 14 years to be exact.

My American roots make me feel very strong connected to the United States, and makes me a person with a lot of wanderlust, it makes me wanting to explore every inch of this earth, and my French influences makes wanting to enjoy every minute of this process we call life, the French influences in my life makes a lot of difference as well, it sort of connects my Belgian roots with my Spanish roots.

I was born on the 29th of December in a small village just outside of Antwerp (The Flemish part of Belgium). I went to kinder garden and high school until i was 8 years old.

At 8 years i arrived with my parents and big sister and my cat in Spain, just outside Valencia, I remember not understanding it so much as a kid, like of course every kids dreams of living in a hot country with nice weather and a nice relaxed lifestyle, but actually going through with it is a big difference, i rebelled a lot when i was a kid, i sort of had this strong urge to go back to Belgium, it didn’t understand a single word of Spanish and i could not understand the way life was there, dinner at 9 in the evening, school until 1 in the afternoon, sun always shining, not having any more Christmases when it’s snowing outside, being far away from my family my grandparents in particular. Right before we moved to Spain, my Grandfather had sadly passed away, and it made moving to Spain even harder, i remember being in high school not understand what people were telling me, but step by step i started to bend in, i started to become familiar with the language, the culture, the open mindedness of the locals, and if at times it became hard for me i would hold on tightly to a sweater from my grandfather and hug it so tightly to feel like my grandfather was still around.

It wasn’t until we moved ever further south, to Malaga to be precise that i really opened myself completely to my new country. My parents thought it would be a good idea to put me into a local school to become Spanish as quickly as possible.

I went to university in Malaga, got my first boyfriend, got so many beautiful friends, i was 16 and so happy.

After a while though i felt like Malaga was perhaps a bit too small, i got scouted and modelling agencies weren’t really popular in the South of Spain, so they offered me 2 options, i could either move to London or i could move to Barcelona.

I opted for the 2nd one, and went to Barcelona, after 3 months i loved the city so much i never wanted to go back to Malaga ever again, it was so much fun, Barcelona is such a big city, when you’re young  it’s the perfect city, a lot of work and party’s everywhere. Around that time i became friends with a guy called ‘Alex’ Alex quickly became my best friend, we don’t see each other very often anymore but every time when we do see each other, it is always so much fun!

After another 2 years i got this needing feeling inside of me, i didn’t know what it was but i felt like going to Belgium again would help me with it, I started to miss my first home country. I went back to Belgium and tried living there again, I didn’t fit in anymore, i love Belgium but i felt like there was something more or somewhere else i should go to, right after that i got very ill… i was in and out of the hospital all the time, completely sedated so i would not feel anymore pain. One day the hospital said, that my next appointment would be in 5 days so they advised me to go and do something really fun in those 5 free days. I went to Brussels and i saw a car and it said ‘Garage Paris’ I looked at my mom and said ‘let’s go to Paris!’ her first reaction was ‘are you mad?’ but slowly but surely she became a fan of the idea and the next day we drove to Paris. I immediately fell in love with this city… The food, the people, the culture, the lifestyle… There was nothing not to love here. We stayed in a cute little hotel for 3 days and after those 3 days it was time to go back to Belgium again, i remember us immediately planning our next trip to Paris shortly after arriving in Belgium, and again and again and again, after a while we would drive every free day or every free 2 days to Paris just to be in the city. After about 7 months of doing so i figured it might be a good idea to take the jump and move to Paris. Which we did and after 2 years and a half i’ve never regretted making that decision.

Nowadays i spend a lot of my time in Paris, I go back to Brussels and Antwerp very often too, i go to Spain at least once or twice a month and i’ll visit my family in the United States at least 3 times a year.

So now when people ask me what the county it is i come from, i say Belgium, Spain and France, and the United States because all of these countries made me who i am today, they made me the Kelly that loves to travel around the world, that loves to explore new places and new experiences. I feel Belgian, i feel Spanish, American, and French. And so when i arrive at a destination on the other side of the world and i see someone with the exact same passport like i have, it brings back all the sweet memories of my childhood.

And to anyone who’s thinking about moving to another country, or another city or another state, i ‘d say ‘DO IT’ Life is short, you can fail yes of course you can, but you can also succeed, and you cannot know without trying if it will work out or not.



I’ve always had the impression that motherlove was the same kind of love we all share in having for our loved ones. For the people that we cherish and that we care for. 

But it wasn’t until 7 years ago, while i was visiting my grandmother and my sister was staying for a few days as well that I realised how deep my motherlove really is. 

My sister was a new mummy, like me, we had never taken care of a baby before and pretty much everything we did was a new experience. My sister sort of got a depression after giving birth in which she asked me to look after my niece for a few days. 

I remember thinking… oh god i cannot do this, i’m not trained to do this, i don’t know how to do everything. I knew that i would do everything i could but i sometimes failed to see how. 

Having a baby is a very demanding experience, don’t get me wrong though… i absolutely adore babies! And i really want some of my own one day too. 

But it wasn’t until those days with my niece that i realised just how much of a 24/7 it really is, after 7 weeks i was exhausted, the waking up in the middle of the night to give her another bottle, the sleeping 4 hours in a night sort of sleep, the nappies, having to walk around slowly with her to make her fall asleep slowly on my shoulder, making sure she will burp before falling asleep. 

But in between the burps and the nappies and the lack of sleep… my heart filled itself with soo much love. It is indescribable. Before my niece came into my life i didn’t know i had the ability to love someone this deeply…. 

I knew from the minute that she was born that there was no mountain too high, no ocean too big and nobody strong enough that would ever stop me from loving her.

She’s 7 almost 8 years old right now and when my sister and i meet each other she will come running towards me, hugging me, kissing me. Her smile lights up my day/life. And there is no place i’d rather be unless it’s right beside her. She is the cutest little girl i have ever known… she makes my heart skip a beat when i see her and nothing comes close to the love i feel for her. 

I have a sneaky feeling that this is what motherlove is all about… loving someone so unconditionally…. so unlimited… so unlike any other love i have ever experienced. She makes me whole… she makes me who i am each and every day and i could not imagine my life without

While i was writing this blog my sister called me, she said Yasmine would like to talk to you… 

Me: ‘Hello’ Yamine: ‘Kelly i miss you so much please back come soon’. My heart melts…. and i keeps on melting… 
Light reflects from your shadow

It is more than I thought could exist

You move through the room

Like breathing was easy

If someone believed me

They would be

As in love with you as I am

They would be

As in love with you as I am

They would be

As in love with you as I am

They would be

In love, love, love. THE XX Angels 

Sisterlove part 2 

Sisterlove part 2 

My sister is in a very bad relationship. The sort of relationship everybody would advice you to walk away from, she didn’t walk away but walked straight in it.

Apart from her boyfriend not being a very nice guy due to multiple reasons. The relationshop they have is a very toxic one, he beats her, humiliates her, hurts her every way possible… i know it sounds crazy that she stays with him.
It’s late in the evening when my sister texts my mom saying she feels bad, she has stomachache, headache and doesn’t feel like doing anything and she feel extremely weak. She’s been diagnosed by a doctor the day before he said it was just a food poisoning but it sounds more like she’s having a breakdown. 

I feel like i want to take her pain away, to give her a happy life and show her relationships can be beautiful and healthy and that they don’t have to be like he told her they are. Even though i’m in Paris right now, if she would ask me to come over back to Belgium i would drop everything and go and see her. 

She’s blind by love, but by the most evilist kind and it breaks my heart not being able to tell her face to face without her getting mad at me, or without us getting into a fight because no matter what happens she will always choose he’s side…