Feeling confident and sexy

Feeling confident and sexy

Feeling confident and sexy,

I sometimes have these days when i literally feel extremely sexy, i don’t know how or why in particular i get this feeling on specific days,

But a few days a week i feel this intense feeling of feeling like a million dollars, of feeling like i can handle the world, this feeling that i can be do or have whatever i’d like to have, be or do.

It’s a strange feeling of sexiness combined with a lot of self confidence, not as in attitude wise, but as in a strong feeling that you feel inside yourself, a feeling that makes you do crazy things, it’s a feeling that makes you wanna wear high heels and a sexy little black dress, it’s a feeling i think came to me with the years that have passed, since i was never particularly self confident when i was younger, i started to grow in self confidence little by little, year by year.

I feel like this feeling of self confidence, took me a long while to get it, i feel like i’ve only just begun to appreciate myself as to how to i am, instead of how i’d like see myself.

15 year old Kelly would hate bra’s, i was a very boyish girl, i would hate anything girly, 22 year old Kelly loves to go shopping for nice sexy bra’s, or loves to go out in beautiful dresses that makes her figure stand out, and even-though i’m far from perfect, i accepted myself, and i love myself, every day a little bit more, and i feel like loving yourself really is the beginning of everything. It’s the ideal way to start your day by looking in the mirror and telling yourself, you’re absolutely brilliant in every sense of the way.

Beauty is when you can appreciate yourself. When you love yourself, that’s when you’re most beautiful. Zoe Kravitz
I think every girl needs to love herself, regardless of anything. Like if you’re having a bad day, if you don’t like your hair, if you don’t have the best family situation, whatever, you have to love yourself and you can’t do anything until you love yourself first. Julianne Hough

Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world. Lucille Ball

Saying you’re not interested…

Saying you’re not interested…

Saying you’re not interested…

Saying you’re not interested is particularly difficult at times, sometimes a person can be not so nice which makes it slightly easier to tell him, but if he’s a sweet nice and caring guy but you just don’t feel the vibe, it can be kinda harsh to tell him you don’t feel the connection, i myself am a terrible person at telling someone i’m not interested in seeing them again, i’m terrible as in, i usually don’t have the courage to tell them straight away so i hold it in and keep going on dates with that person with the hope i might eventually like him in the end, which of course never happens, i’ll keep waiting so long that eventually my body will start to resent it, which makes me even more nervous to tell them.

Like this date i had with Lazslo, Lazslo is the typical Parisian, living in the 17th, born and raised in the city, he’s a good guy but really not my type, i’ve seen him twice and there was no connection at all, he messaged me this morning asking me if it’s ok to see each other again, i really wasn’t up for that, so i felt like it was time to be a adult, and tell him how i feel about him, i told him  that i did not felt a connection with him, and no chemistry…He took a while before he replied, with ‘ok, no problem’.

And i couldn’t help but think to myself why don’t i do this more often? every single time i go on a date and i don’t feel the connection?, instead of hoping it would eventually come, i might as well just tell them upfront.

I once did this with another guy and he called me many many names… And i think i sort of got my fear to tell a guy straight away from him.

But even though it’s sort of hard, and i don’t wanna hurt anybody’s feelings, i still believe it’s best to be genuine and upfront with someone.

 

Sisterlove…

Sisterlove…

Sisterlove,

My sister and i were super close, from the moment i was born she became the big protective sister, protecting me from outside dangers, carrying me around, or driving me around in my stroller, kissing me on my head, holding my hands at the movies, hugging me when i was sad or afraid, helping me when big kids were mean to me, no matter what she was always there for me, and although our relationship isn’t as strong as it used to be, when i heard the news yesterday that she was admitted into the hospital and that they had found something inside of her body that might be cancerous, it was at that moment yesterday that i felt like my whole world was collapsing, although they had found it quickly, and removed all of it, the fear of losing my only sister dawned on me, because let’s be honest, what would i be without her?, sure we had our problems, we had our good and bad days, the last few years have not been the best for our relationship, but even after all that has happened we would never give up on trying, trying for a better relationship, to make us go back to how we used to be, it wasn’t until 3 weeks ago when i was in a adventure park and i was scared of the height of the installation that she gave me her hand, and i gladly took it, and during the entire ride, i hid behind her arm/shoulders.

Because as much as i sometimes deny it, my sister is in the end who made me, me.

She’s the one that taught me all about music, and about dating and boys, she’s the one that was there when no one else wanted to play with me, she was there during the good, the bad, and the perfect days.

A sister’s relationship is funny, it is daunting at times, it is not always easy, and it takes a lot of courage and patients, but no matter how hard the road gets, we will always love each other.

I’m the youngest child, and i’ve always loved being the youngest child because i knew that whenever i needed it, i would have my big sister to count on.

 

 

Are single woman friend or foe?

Niells and i met in Australia 2 years ago, Niells was working in Sydney at the time and i was living in Perth, a mutual friend from Belgium thought we would hit it off.

One week and many Facebook messages later we decided it was about time to get to meet each other in real life for once, we met in the city centre of Perth, took the bus, took the subway, and a boat to Rottnest island, Niells was definitely not my type, but we hit it off really well as friends, the next few days we tried meeting up a few times again, but since he was leaving soon to Belgium again, we met perhaps 3 times and agreed on staying in touch as friends, note, between Niells and i there was no romance involved whatsoever, we were almost like brother and sister even.

A few months later i’m back in Belgium and we agree on going out for dinner in Antwerp, dinner was awesome, but it still very much felt like really good friends, i never thought anything about it, he would ask me how my dating life was going, and we would laugh about things we had common while going out on dates.

One year later i was back in Australia, he was in New Zealand so he was one of the few friends in the almost same time zone, we would talk in the morning and keep each other posted about our recent trips and activities, one day he told he needed my advice, there were two girls he liked, and he asked my opinion about them, i quickly noticed that the girl he liked the most he was hesitant of dating her because she had a child, but i told him it would be no problem if he really likes her, he should go for it, and give it a chance.

A few weeks later i’ve heard there were together, and i could not be happier for him! A few weeks after that he sends me a message saying ‘Why do you talk to strangers about us?’ I had no idea where this came from, as i would never talk about he’s relationship, i said ‘Excuse me?, and he replied, ‘A friend of mine told me about a woman with red hair gossiping about my relationship to friends while sitting on a terrace in Antwerp’.

I was sort of annoyed that he would even think this of me, that he even thought i could be that person was what made me feel really upset and angry at him, especially since i had not heard from him in months, and this was our first message after such a long time, and if he really knew me like he claimed he did, he would know that i would never tell anybody about he’s relationship.

About 3 weeks later, i asked him if we’re good again, since he tried making up with me but i always declined, i was too mad at him, but i finally gave in, since i did not saw a point in being mad at him. He told me it was he’s sister that was gossiping on the terrace…

But i could not help but notice that he had changed from the nice soft Niells, to a Niells i never saw before, and don’t really wanna see again, he became cold and cruel towards me, he did not had any respect for my feelings as a friend whoever, i was always the one asking him how he was doing, instead of vice versa.

In May i was going to Milan, and he messaged me saying ‘gosh you’re really living the good life, wish i could go with you’. As this seemed like a message old Niells would say i was relieved to think he had finally changed back into the nice Niells, he had also send me many Facebook messages saying he wants to keep in touch, and that he misses me…

Mid July i discover through a Facebook post that he’s going to live together with the new girl, I was sort of surprised that he did not even mention this to me once, since i tell him everything about my dating life… But as good friends do, i congratulate him in a public post… A few days after that he deletes me from Facebook, Instagram everything.

Until this day i still don’t know what happened there, but it feels to me like it was mostly influenced by her, i’m sorry but i does, we all know that one friend that get’s completely bonkers whenever she’s in a relationship, but i think cutting off your boyfriend from all of their friends is not such a good idea to start your ‘healthy relationship’ with, if he was pushed into deleting me from he’s life, it’s shows what sort of a man it was, but also it’s shows that he’s sort of a victim from emotional abuse, too many people do not know they’re in a unhealthy relationship, and when they finally do, they can only hope they’ll have some sweet friends left that can help them get out of such a relationship.

But it made me wonder however, single woman are we a treat towards people in a relationship? or can we still be the greatest of friends with the woman/man or both in the relationship?

Family love <3

Family love <3

What if love is the answer to everything we have been questioning ourselves?

As cliche as this sounds, i've heard this phrase a few years ago and i thought they were overreacting with the whole love thing, i was cynical about love, or loving anyone at all, sure i love my parents, family, friends, but this breathtaking can't live without each other love? no, i did not believe in that, until weirdly enough it happened to me, it wasn't exactly a thunderstruck, more like a feeling that finally made sense.

I always had a difficult relationship with my sister, i did not actually knew any of her 3 kids, nor did they knew me… Until two weeks ago, there they were, the first time my 7 year old niece called my name, my heart melted, the first time she held my hands, or the first time she came up to me to give me a big hug and some kisses, the first time my 2 year old nephew laid he's head on my shoulders while i hugged him, or the first time my 4 year old nephew called me by my name, and asked me if i could help him down the stairs… There is no limit to the things you wanna do for them, nothing is too much for you, you do it, you risk it all, when i left them, my sister called me the next day saying they had not slept at all, they kept asking when i was coming back… At that moment i finally understood what it was all about, i finally realised how much i love them, and how much i love love itself, it's this magical bond you can have with certain people in your life, it's this crazy thing that changes your ways of living, you feel like there is nothing you cannot do, as long as you know you got them.

“I believe
in love at first sight
but I will always believe
that the people
we love
we have loved before.
Many, many, many times before
and when we stumble
through grace and circumstance
and that brilliant illusion of choice
to finally meet them again,
we feel it faster
each time through.
The one glance
that set life alight
is two sets of two eyes
staring through the layers
of lifetimes and stolen glances
and first kisses and hands held;
the brace against the weight
and unrelenting tide
of waiting.
I believe
in love at first sight
but am not burdened with the misconception
that it's a first sight
at all.”
Tyler Knott Gregson

Dating Frenchman…

Dating Frenchman…

A question that many of my international friends have been asking me ever since i moved here to Paris.. What’s it like to date French men?, How are they in the way of dating? are they as they claim to be in all the movies and romantic books? Or are they like any other nationality when it comes down to dating?

I’ve started dating Alexis when i was 19, It was a very cold Winter in Paris, Alexis was a handsome, tall, Parisian who lived with he’s parents just outside Paris. He would drive around Paris with me in he’s Peugeot from 1989, he was charming, cute and extremely irresistible, i remember our first date, we agreed on meeting at a metro station right outside where i live, We walked towards the station, get on the 2nd metro and after 20 minutes we arrive at this very typical french cafe, like any other cafe a french cafe usually has lots and lots of beer and wine and spirits to choose from, and always has a plateau de charcuterie, which he ordered, He would spread some Camembert on a piece of bread and look and give me in this playful sort of look ‘Would you like to try it? he said, it was too good to resist…Needless to say our first date was a huge success, on our second date we went to a bistro just a across the ‘Pantheon’ which is a big old building, which is turned into a museum these days, it’s absolutely gorgeous inside, and it is the resting place of Voltaire and many other French literatures. The Area is called ‘Latin area’ and it is famous for it’s bistro’s, ideal for 1st 2nd and 3rd dates.

After dinner we went to a tiny bar, which was at the other side of the Pantheon building, it was super crowded, but oh so cosy, We drank 2 of the typical french shots, i cannot remember the name but it was extremely sweet, but not strong at all, we walked outside, back to the pantheon to catch the last metro, right before entering the metro he kissed me, it wasn’t a kiss it was ‘the’ kiss…it was one of the best kisses i had ever had the pleasure of having, and it went above all French kissing expectations, we get into the metro, it was really crowded there as well, we continue kissing, (and this is one of the things i looove about living in Paris, kissing or showing emotions towards somebody in public is seen here as a beautiful thing, A Parisian or French man or woman would not judge you if you are kissing on the street, instead they would congratulate it).

Our deeply passionate love affair ended after almost 5 months of seeing each other, and even though i’m still not sure if i loved him or not, we did had a fabulous time together, and i’m always grateful for that.

Before Alexis i had been seeing another French guy but the chemistry was not so good like it was with Alexis, Philippe was great and nice, but Phillip showed me on our 2nd date that he was only looking for fun, which wasn’t something i was looking for at the time. (Most of the French people start to seriously date someone when they pass 35, so if you’re in your 20ies it can sometimes be a bit of a hassle to find someone who is not looking for just fun)

Shortly after Alexis, i’ve dated Louis, Louis was a shy but charming French man, he lived with he’s parents in the 11th district of Paris, we had been dating for about 4 months, but i think Louis and i always sort of felt there wasn’t enough chemistry, and so on one lonely evening i mentioned these things to him, and we got into a not so nice fight, we made up after that as friends, but decided it’s best if we stayed friends.

Louis however showed me a lot about Paris, and how Parisians live and are like, most Parisians leave mid august to go to a summer house somewhere in the south of France, almost every Parisian has at least one friend, or a family member that either owns or rents a house there, or knows someone who does. I’ve been introduced to the family on an early stage, which i think is mostly French, because in neither Belgium or Spain is this the norm, drinking wine is something that goes hand in hand, food wise, i once tried dating and dieting at the same time, and let’s just say i didn’t work out too well for my diet.

 

After many many more dates with other French man, i’ve come to realise that most French man are sweet and kindhearted, they are always up for some fun, it’s very Parisian to call you in the middle of the night and ask you to go out, some are shy, but most of them are pretty straightforward, if they like you, they will tell you soon enough, but if they don’t, they will not tell you, they will simply stop responding to your messages.

I’ve found that French man are really as romantic as they claim to be, one of the many dating options here in Paris is to sit on the side of the seine with a blanket and a bottle of wine and some strawberries, or to go to a romantic picturesque cute cafe and have a drink there under candlelight, or go and watch a nice romantic movie.

I do not think that dating a French man is like dating ay other European nationality, i feel like French man, are more sensitive and pay more attention to details, there have been a few times when someone commented me on my jacket, my heels, or my new haircut, or my red lipstick, which has never happened to me in any other country so far.

I’d advice anybody who has the chance to date a French man to give it a chance and try it at least once, maybe you’ll live happily ever after, or maybe it will only be a short romantic fling, in either case you would get so many memories in return which you will be grateful for.

Who pays for the drinks?

Who pays for the drinks?

When i was young i grew up practically by my grandparents who lived in the city centre of Antwerp, i still remember the smell of the city early in the morning, i remember the frost sometimes on our windows we tried scraping off, i remember how i woke up to the smell of scrambled eggs or pancakes entering the kitchen and giving my grandfather and grandmother a big kiss good morning.

My grandfather and grandmother were the sort of couple that met each other right after the 2nd world war had ended, they had both lost family and friends in the war but were always optimistic about the future.

My grandfather working at the Antwerp harbour, my grandmother was a housekeeper for a family living nearby where they lived in northern Antwerp.

My grandfather and grandmother would go out almost every evening dancing to Tony Bennet, they would stop at a fish market to eat something for breakfast and start their day working, and they would sleep when they come back home in the afternoon.

Even though they had a hard life, they had worked hard to have everything they asked for, holidays in Spain, Diamond necklaces (my grandmother was a big fan of heavy jewellery) my grandfather would love music and would buy a vinyl player and some scotch to accompany with the music.

But from all the memories they gave me the one thing is remember the most is the way they loved each other, my grandfather would move mountains for my grandmother and vice versa, nothing was too much, they mentioned they had their rough spots in their marriage but they always worked their way out of it, together, listening to Tony Bennet was their favourite time passing activity, and if i’d play Tony Bennet in the car with my grandmother she would still dance, and tell me about the good old days. When she would  go out in the evening, for a night on the town, in small dance cafes, drinking wine or beer and having the best of times.

To me they were perfect role model, i would look up to them, i would always look for a love like they’ve had. This passionate, can’t live without each other love.

My dad who is a lot like my grandfather as well always gave me certain life tips and dating tips, one day he said if a guy ever asks you to explain your worth to him, you have to utterly walk away, but even on first and 2nd dates, he made me promise i would never pay for the bill. And i feel like there’s some confusion about who pays for the bill nowadays in modern dating i feel like some woman see it as a weakness if a guy pays for them, i know guys that would use the phrase ‘independent woman’ as an excuse that we have to pay for their share, which i don’t think is true, i don’t think a woman has to, i think if you’re a guy and you have sincere intentions with a woman, you should treat her as such, you should wine and dine her, you should show her a good time, because that’s the least you can do.

I feel like there may be some woman that would feel more comfortable with paying their own share, but it has been my experience that whenever a guy asked me to pay for my share they were usually not so much worth my time, they wouldn’t understand where my passion for old school dating comes from, they would tell me ‘why would i need to pay for you’?, like my date said yesterday… I honestly don’t have enough time to sum up why, but if he claims to be a gentleman the least thing he can do is to pay the bill.

But he made me feel like i did something very wrong by making him pay for it, and so i asked the opinion for my friends on this matter, their honest day to day advice, ‘paying on dates’ who does what?

26 year old female friend: ‘Please don’t date these sort of guys. (valuable advice i must say).

25 year Old male friend: If a guy asks you out, he should either pay without mentioning it to you, or tell you at the beginning of the evening that he like to split the bill, and see your reaction before you have dinner, it is rude to wait until the very last minute and then propose her to pay for her share.

34 year old male friend, ‘I never ask a girl to pay for her share, especially not on the 1st/2nd or 3rd date, i have however dated woman in the past that insisted after the 4th or 5th date that they like to pay the bill this time so in that case i let them. But otherwise no.

(Note. This is only meant dating wise, not if you go out with friends, if you go out with friends there’s no issue spitting bills or paying for the bill this time and let them pay the next round).

“I enjoy dating. I love first dates. I think they’re incredibly fascinating studies in human psychology. When you sit down across from someone on a first date and things are going alright, you talk objectives. We want to win each other over, so how do you win someone over? You have to put the best foot forward”. Chris Pine