Niells and i met in Australia 2 years ago, Niells was working in Sydney at the time and i was living in Perth, a mutual friend from Belgium thought we would hit it off.
One week and many Facebook messages later we decided it was about time to get to meet each other in real life for once, we met in the city centre of Perth, took the bus, took the subway, and a boat to Rottnest island, Niells was definitely not my type, but we hit it off really well as friends, the next few days we tried meeting up a few times again, but since he was leaving soon to Belgium again, we met perhaps 3 times and agreed on staying in touch as friends, note, between Niells and i there was no romance involved whatsoever, we were almost like brother and sister even.
A few months later i’m back in Belgium and we agree on going out for dinner in Antwerp, dinner was awesome, but it still very much felt like really good friends, i never thought anything about it, he would ask me how my dating life was going, and we would laugh about things we had common while going out on dates.
One year later i was back in Australia, he was in New Zealand so he was one of the few friends in the almost same time zone, we would talk in the morning and keep each other posted about our recent trips and activities, one day he told he needed my advice, there were two girls he liked, and he asked my opinion about them, i quickly noticed that the girl he liked the most he was hesitant of dating her because she had a child, but i told him it would be no problem if he really likes her, he should go for it, and give it a chance.
A few weeks later i’ve heard there were together, and i could not be happier for him! A few weeks after that he sends me a message saying ‘Why do you talk to strangers about us?’ I had no idea where this came from, as i would never talk about he’s relationship, i said ‘Excuse me?, and he replied, ‘A friend of mine told me about a woman with red hair gossiping about my relationship to friends while sitting on a terrace in Antwerp’.
I was sort of annoyed that he would even think this of me, that he even thought i could be that person was what made me feel really upset and angry at him, especially since i had not heard from him in months, and this was our first message after such a long time, and if he really knew me like he claimed he did, he would know that i would never tell anybody about he’s relationship.
About 3 weeks later, i asked him if we’re good again, since he tried making up with me but i always declined, i was too mad at him, but i finally gave in, since i did not saw a point in being mad at him. He told me it was he’s sister that was gossiping on the terrace…
But i could not help but notice that he had changed from the nice soft Niells, to a Niells i never saw before, and don’t really wanna see again, he became cold and cruel towards me, he did not had any respect for my feelings as a friend whoever, i was always the one asking him how he was doing, instead of vice versa.
In May i was going to Milan, and he messaged me saying ‘gosh you’re really living the good life, wish i could go with you’. As this seemed like a message old Niells would say i was relieved to think he had finally changed back into the nice Niells, he had also send me many Facebook messages saying he wants to keep in touch, and that he misses me…
Mid July i discover through a Facebook post that he’s going to live together with the new girl, I was sort of surprised that he did not even mention this to me once, since i tell him everything about my dating life… But as good friends do, i congratulate him in a public post… A few days after that he deletes me from Facebook, Instagram everything.
Until this day i still don’t know what happened there, but it feels to me like it was mostly influenced by her, i’m sorry but i does, we all know that one friend that get’s completely bonkers whenever she’s in a relationship, but i think cutting off your boyfriend from all of their friends is not such a good idea to start your ‘healthy relationship’ with, if he was pushed into deleting me from he’s life, it’s shows what sort of a man it was, but also it’s shows that he’s sort of a victim from emotional abuse, too many people do not know they’re in a unhealthy relationship, and when they finally do, they can only hope they’ll have some sweet friends left that can help them get out of such a relationship.
But it made me wonder however, single woman are we a treat towards people in a relationship? or can we still be the greatest of friends with the woman/man or both in the relationship?