Motherlove 

Motherlove 

I’ve always had the impression that motherlove was the same kind of love we all share in having for our loved ones. For the people that we cherish and that we care for. 

But it wasn’t until 7 years ago, while i was visiting my grandmother and my sister was staying for a few days as well that I realised how deep my motherlove really is. 

My sister was a new mummy, like me, we had never taken care of a baby before and pretty much everything we did was a new experience. My sister sort of got a depression after giving birth in which she asked me to look after my niece for a few days. 

I remember thinking… oh god i cannot do this, i’m not trained to do this, i don’t know how to do everything. I knew that i would do everything i could but i sometimes failed to see how. 

Having a baby is a very demanding experience, don’t get me wrong though… i absolutely adore babies! And i really want some of my own one day too. 

But it wasn’t until those days with my niece that i realised just how much of a 24/7 it really is, after 7 weeks i was exhausted, the waking up in the middle of the night to give her another bottle, the sleeping 4 hours in a night sort of sleep, the nappies, having to walk around slowly with her to make her fall asleep slowly on my shoulder, making sure she will burp before falling asleep. 

But in between the burps and the nappies and the lack of sleep… my heart filled itself with soo much love. It is indescribable. Before my niece came into my life i didn’t know i had the ability to love someone this deeply…. 

I knew from the minute that she was born that there was no mountain too high, no ocean too big and nobody strong enough that would ever stop me from loving her.

She’s 7 almost 8 years old right now and when my sister and i meet each other she will come running towards me, hugging me, kissing me. Her smile lights up my day/life. And there is no place i’d rather be unless it’s right beside her. She is the cutest little girl i have ever known… she makes my heart skip a beat when i see her and nothing comes close to the love i feel for her. 

I have a sneaky feeling that this is what motherlove is all about… loving someone so unconditionally…. so unlimited… so unlike any other love i have ever experienced. She makes me whole… she makes me who i am each and every day and i could not imagine my life without her.mm

While i was writing this blog my sister called me, she said Yasmine would like to talk to you… 

Me: ‘Hello’ Yamine: ‘Kelly i miss you so much please back come soon’. My heart melts…. and i keeps on melting… 
Light reflects from your shadow

It is more than I thought could exist

You move through the room

Like breathing was easy

If someone believed me

They would be

As in love with you as I am

They would be

As in love with you as I am

They would be

As in love with you as I am

They would be

In love, love, love. THE XX Angels 

Sisterlove part 2 

Sisterlove part 2 

My sister is in a very bad relationship. The sort of relationship everybody would advice you to walk away from, she didn’t walk away but walked straight in it.

Apart from her boyfriend not being a very nice guy due to multiple reasons. The relationshop they have is a very toxic one, he beats her, humiliates her, hurts her every way possible… i know it sounds crazy that she stays with him.
It’s late in the evening when my sister texts my mom saying she feels bad, she has stomachache, headache and doesn’t feel like doing anything and she feel extremely weak. She’s been diagnosed by a doctor the day before he said it was just a food poisoning but it sounds more like she’s having a breakdown. 

I feel like i want to take her pain away, to give her a happy life and show her relationships can be beautiful and healthy and that they don’t have to be like he told her they are. Even though i’m in Paris right now, if she would ask me to come over back to Belgium i would drop everything and go and see her. 

She’s blind by love, but by the most evilist kind and it breaks my heart not being able to tell her face to face without her getting mad at me, or without us getting into a fight because no matter what happens she will always choose he’s side… 

Miss Belgium

Miss Belgium

About two year ago my friends signed me up for the miss Belgium competition, about 5 months after they had send my photo with a motivation letter i got an email from the organisation telling me i was invited to the casting day the week after in a nearby hotel in Flanders. At first i was not happy at all that my friends did this, and most importantly that they did this behind my back. But i couldn’t stay mad at them, i know they didn’t meant it in a bad way.

2 weeks later it was the casting day, arriving in the reception of the hotel there was a huge table with names of the invited girls, who was already inside, and who they were still expecting. I went over to the table, i gave my id card and in return i got a number, i was Kelly, number 26 from Schilde, a village right next to Antwerp.

Next thing they made all of us sit around big round tables in the lobby of the hotel, there were 3 big tables just for miss Antwerp, (Note, when entering the miss Belgium competition you automatically have to represent your city first, and if you win either 1st, 2nd, or 3rd place in that competition you’ll be able to go to Miss Belgium). In total there were 78 pre selected girls waiting until they heard their names being called to go inside the room where the jury would interview you with ex mis Belgium’s and members of the press. I didn’t care so much for the whole competition until that moment, that’s when i got very nervous, i saw all of these beautiful girls and i felt honoured they already pre selected me, thinking i could compete with them.

I wore a black pencil skirt with a white short sleeve top and some sexy heels underneath it, my hair was in a bun and i did my lipstick in a bright red shade.

After 2 hours of waiting in the lobby, talking to the other girls it was my turn, i remember thinking, either you get it or you don’t, don’t stress, try staying focused and give great answers to what they’ll be asking you.

I closed my eyes, walked a few steps, and thought, confidence in 1,2,3…. and go!

There i was in front of 3 tables put together with in total 27 people of the jury staring at me, ‘So Kelly, what brought you to enter this competition?,

25 Minutes later i walked out and felt relieved it was over, i had to go back to the lobby and wait for the results.

After another hour a member of the jury came back, and one by one announced the girls that will be participating and right at the end he said…’And last but not least, miss number 26’.

I couldn’t believe it, i didn’t think it was real, until i double checked with the member of the jury, ‘Are you sure you mean me when you said number 29” ‘Of course’ he said, ‘Who else would it be’ and he left, got our contracts, and a agenda page with a detailed list of all the events we had to attend.

I was in between working and studying, when i got the email that we would be having a press conference in 2 months time, everybody from the Belgian press would be there, including celebrities, famous bands and singers, models, famous Belgians…

And we had to perform a catwalk, in both bikini and evening gown, i was starting to become nervous about that, but i kept thinking to myself ‘I can do this’.

The day arrived of the press conference, i was excited and nervous at the same time, i already done many catwalks and photoshoots in the past so i was more excited to know what it would be like this time on a stage like this, in one of the biggest and most famous nightclubs of Flanders. One by one they called us on stage, and we had to say our name and number and which province we came from in front of a huge crowd, all of the miss Antwerp girls had agreed that when one of us entered the stage we would crazy enthusiastic about each other, we got mixed with the different provinces, and we were able to stand in front of the stage every time a girl from Antwerp came on stage to cheer and clap for her. By the end of the evening the 32 girls from Antwerp became really close friends, we became one of the closest groups in the competition.

When it was time for the actual election night, 2 months later, we sort of all knew who was going to win, we had heard about the pre elections and we knew already who managed to enter the top 5, in between the press conference and the election i went to Australia, which made my chances to enter the top 5 pretty slim, because i had missed on a variety of pubic events in those two months which is was normally supposed to attend.

Before the election we had 3 days to rehearse our dance on stage, how to enter the catwalk one by one after each other, it wasn’t difficult but it was hard to get all of the girls including 2 other provinces who were having their elections at the same time on stage all together, doing the dance we had to do, and knowing when to walk on stage.

I did not particularly like it so much, i preferred the modelling industry a lot more, because i felt like it was more honest, and it also left more room for imagination, i loved posing as a model but in the miss competition i wasn’t allowed to pose like a mode, i had to pose like a miss, which is so much harder.

In the end, i was very happy it was over, i don’t regret participating, i’m honoured and glad that i’ve been able to participated, i met a lot of new people during that time. And i’ve made a lot of new friendships as well.

But would i do it again?, No. but i’m very glad i did it once in my life, and i thank the organisation for giving me the opportunity.

It also taught me a lot about myself, and i got some really beautiful friendships out of it, and until this very day when i see my ribbon, saying ‘candidate of miss Antwerp for miss Belgium 2016’ I feel proud that i’ve done it.

 

 

 

IMG_4060

Wo-Men

Wo-Men

Because i am a woman i get comments from random guys or even girls telling me to cover up, i know people who claimed that if you go out in a miniskirt you’re basically asking for it, i have friends who say that belittling woman is not so bad since it’s all just a joke.

It sometimes scares me how i have to change myself in order to go outside or to go to the beach, when i take a metro in Paris at 9 in the evening and i’m scared, i’m scared because I’m all alone and there are a group of guys shouting things at me like ‘hey baby let’s have some fun tonight’,

And if i tell this to my friends they will ask me what i was wearing… How can what i wear be relevant to how i’m being treated sometimes?

Why should it matter if i wear high heels? or if i wear a low cut top?, if i say no, the answer is no.

I salute the woman that go out there and walk into the metro wearing whatever they feel like, especially since summer in Paris can be very humid and hot, while i appreciate most of my friends helping me when i’m alone, i’m also sad that this is what it came to these days. When i did a photoshoot 4 years ago with a friend photographer the idea was to do a super uber sexy photoshoot, just to show my femaleness and be me, i got a shower of comments after that from mostly females i must say, saying i was took sexy, saying that i should take the photos down from Instagram or Facebook, saying that i should cover up more (note, i was in a bikini on most of the photos, there was literally nothing you could see on the photos that was explicit) and i still got these sort of comments,… I like to be sexy when i can, i like wearing agent provocateur lingerie and wear clothes that could show a little skin, this does not mean at all that it’s ok to call me things, or to shout things at me when you’re drunk, this does not mean that i want you. This does not mean that i’m only thinking about one thing. This means, that i’m a woman and i do be or have whatever i want.

I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass.

— Maya Angelou

 

The model diet

The model diet

I have to admit, i have never been a big fan of any diet, my size is usually just between 36 and 38 and if i try a diet it will always keep me between those two sizes no matter how hard i try…

In the modelling industry i was constantly on a diet and tried to get into my best shape, i would spend hours in the gym, go days on green tea and blueberries. It was pretty difficult to maintain healthy and keep in shape at the same time. I tried almost every diet on the market, i did the protein diet, i did the Beyonce juice diet, i did weight watchers all of that sort of worked but i never actually felt good while being on any of them.

That is until i’ve found a diet that is suitable for my lifestyle and what i want to get out of it,

I call it the model diet, it is a mix of tips and tricks that i’ve learned over the years from individual dieticians.

Morning:

I do this every morning, and it did miracles to my body, squeeze half a lemon into a glass of hot water and drink it

After that i will pour some wheatgrass powder into some water and drink it as well,

After that i drink a protein shake with soya milk, could be almond milk too, however i feel like soya milk digest better in my body.

After that i’ll drink 2 or 3 cups of white tea, (white tea and not green tea because my body does not react too well on green tea, it’s ok with one cup but if i drink 2 or 3 i’ll get nausea), this is because green tea is a lot heavier on the stomach, while white tea has almost the same health benefits but it is a lot more easier to digest. However white tea or black tea is not easy to find, here in Europe only specialised tea stores will have it, or really big supermarkets, if i do not find find white tea, i’ll switch to black tea, and if that is unavailable as well i would take green tea with jasmine.

After that i take one cup of hot skimmed milk, i’ll add four spoons (size of a soup spoon) to it, and 2 small coffee spoons of chia seeds.

Lunchtime:

I usually eat either a piece of bread with some light cheese on it, or i’ll prepare myself a salad, or a soup, or a bowl of granola with some yoghurt. (keep in mind that, salad, like iceberg salad will make your stomach look floated, yoghurt will also have the same effect). If you want to eat something during lunchtime but you wanna keep a flat stomach i’d suggest you prepare some spinach with a chicken filet, or a soup of green vegetables. (If you want to lose weight even quicker you should not eat any bread during a period of time, if you love bread too much it’s best to east just one or 2 slices of it during either breakfast or lunchtime, since the carbs in the bread will have the time to be digested and absorbed well by the body).

Dinnertime:

I aways try to eat a hot plate during dinner, i usually go for some cooked spinach, or kale,  or leek, or broccoli, (beware that broccoli is a rough vegetable and it will most your stomach look a little bloated temporarily), or Brussels spouts (will however also make your stomach look a little bloated afterwards temp.). I’ll ad some quinoa to it, with again a little bit go chia seeds and either chicken, or a turkey fillet, or a white fish, or salmon fillet.

Things to bear in mind:

Eat 2 snacks in between breakfast and lunch, and in between lunch and dinnertime.

Snacks can either be 2 kiwis, or some pineapple or any other fruit, or a bowl of strawberries, or a banana or a bowl or blueberries or raspberries or an egg can be boiled or as an omelet.

With this diet you will need to drink 2 litres of water each day.

Another tip would be to walk or jog a little, or go to the fitness and work out for like and hour, hour and a half, this will help your diet a lot and will help your body to reshape to the size that you want.

And most importantly, every body is different, some people will lose weight quickly others will have to fight more to get rid of them, keep loving yourself even if you’re not the size that you want at the moment, know that your body is amazing, and if we fuel it with all good stuff the results of this diet can be pretty amazing.

Note, this may not be in your case but with my friends and i we noticed that our skin looked flawless whilst doing this, and that we slept better at night as well.

Note, do not drink green tea after 3 in the afternoon, since most tea’s have caffeine in it, it will keep you awake at night, instead you can drink caffeine free green tea.